Politeness is more than a set of manners, although it is often perceived as a simple, “please” and “thank you” and holding the door open. I have learned that the power of being polite goes deeper, it can ease tense situations and even bring out the best in those around us.
Politeness involves showing respect and empathy towards others. Being polite can include a simple smile, giving others the space to speak, and asking someone how they are really doing. Politeness makes daily interactions much more enjoyable.
A study by NIH in 2011 showed that politeness can be good for our mental health. When empathy and kindness are demonstrated, positive responses are received. Treating others well builds self respect and self confidence. Politeness brings people together. In workplaces, polite and respectful communication fosters teamwork and boosts morale. In neighborhoods, politeness builds trust and creates a safer, more connected community. When you’re polite you show others the value of respect.
Diane Gottsman, the author of “Modern Etiquette for a Better Life” says that there are a few old fashioned manners that kids today are not being taught. Whenever my kindergarten students speak to me, I make sure that my eyes are level with theirs, making eye contact is important. Standing up when being introduced to someone new and shaking hands is another outdated formality that I learned as a child, taught my own children, and now teach my grandchildren and students.
Manners and polite behavior were of utmost importance in my family. From an early age, I learned the intricacies of navigating formal table settings that included finger bowls. No elbows on the table, chew with your mouth shut, don’t talk with your mouth full, cut small bites of food one at a time, and napkin always in your lap. Proper knife and fork skills were modeled by my parents, hold the index finger on the top of the knife blade with remaining four fingers wrapped around the handle, no fists involved. When not in use, with the blade facing in, the knife was placed at twelve and three o’clock on the plate.
Handshakes were also important in my family. I was taught to always keep my drink in my left hand with my right hand free at a cocktail party, in order to offer a dry hand in a firm, not crushing or limp handshake.
Politeness is more than a social formality, it’s about finding balance, showing respect to others while respecting ourselves in words and actions. Politeness is a powerful tool that encourages respect, trust, and empathy in our everyday lives. Being polite may seem small but it has a big impact. In today’s fast paced world, I believe that politeness offers a way to connect, communicate, and build better relationships. Politeness and respect are essential qualities that foster understanding and promote cooperation. They are vital for creating a harmonious society where individuals feel respected.
“True power and true politeness are above vanity” – VoltairePoliteness
