Lately some discussions with friends and relatives have centered around issues that bother them in their neighborhoods. Some complaints are simply minor pet peeves. Others involve safety, noise, and following the law.
Even though I am fortunate to have some spectacular neighbors, I decided to research the topic. My research has revealed that being a good neighbor comes down to three basic concepts–mutual respect, open communication, and small acts of Kindness. Key pillars to focus on include the following.
Communicate and set boundaries. Introduce yourself if you’re new, and give a polite heads up if you plan to hold a major event that could cause some disruption in the neighborhood.
Be mindful of noise. Keep noise levels respectful, especially during early mornings and late at night. Some sites recommend not using noisy equipment such as leaf blowers and loud mowers before 8 a.m. and after 6 p.m. Other sites also encourage migrating to electric tools, when possible, for noise abatement.
Maintain your property. Keep your lawn mowed, trash bins out of sight on non-collection days, and overall curb appeal tidy to preserve property values and neighborhood aesthetics. Also be respectful of property boundaries, ensuring that equipment, sheds, etc. are at the proper distance from your property line. If possible, store large pieces of equipment in the back of your residence as opposed to on your front lawn.
Look out for each other. Offer to collect mail, watch for packages, or water plants while neighbors are away.
Manage your pets. We all love our pets but be cognizant of keeping your dogs on a leash when outside your property and be sure to clean up after your pets so everyone can enjoy the neighborhood. Also be aware of the issue of noisy pets. Barking dogs kept outside for several hours a day can become a major irritant to your neighbors.
I must confess that I have a goldendoodle who escaped from our yard on a few occasions and ran into neighbors’ properties. I was mortified. Lucca actually decided to sit on the steps of a neighbor’s swimming pool to cool off during one of her escapades. My neighbors were most forgiving, which I appreciated. It’s important to understand that these issues can occur from time to time and to be understanding when they do. However, if they become a recurring nuisance, that’s when trouble begins.
Handle conflicts in person. If an issue arises, talk face-to-face calmly rather than leaving a note or venting online.
Be aware of implicit biases and tendencies to overreact to an issue. Remember to check your biases to ensure you are not blaming your neighbors for something, just because of a different nationality, race, or sexual orientation.
Know the code and state laws. If you are using firearms, be sure you are aware of local laws. Maryland, with some of the strictest and most comprehensive firearm regulations in the country, forbids shooting a firearm within 100 yards of a home, camp, or public building without the permission of the owner or occupant.
In Maryland it is illegal to allow underage guests to possess and consume alcohol on your property. Violations are misdemeanors carrying fines of up to $2,500 for a first offense and $5,000 for subsequent offenses.
According to a recent Pew Research study, roughly 25 percent of adults under age 30 report that they don’t know any of their neighbors. The study discusses the importance of building a strong community to encourage a sense of comfort and safety and to stay connected to the place you live.
Robert Frost’s poem Mending Wall is often misunderstood. In the poem, Frost describes two neighbors working together to repair a fallen stone fence separating their properties. One neighbor is eager to repair the gap in the wall. He says, “Good fences make good neighbors.” The other neighbor doesn’t understand why the wall is needed in the first place. (The first line of the poem is “Something there is that doesn’t love a wall.”)
Frost’s poem is a metaphor for the walls we build to keep people apart. The metaphor serves as a powerful reminder of the unwritten social, psychological, and physical barriers we build between ourselves and others, and the importance of fostering healthy and productive relationships with our neighbors. In essence, Frost encourages us to go the extra mile, open our hearts, and share our lives with others.
Sounds like sound advice, particularly in this age of increasing isolation and political discord.
