“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” was one of my Mom’s favorite adages. Credit for the quote is given to Aesop but Thumper, the bunny from Bambi made it famous in the scene in which Thumper is critical about Bambi’s walking ability. Thumper’s Mother scolds him for being unkind to newborn, Bambi, and reminds Thumper, “what did your father tell you this morning?” A chastened Thumper then recites: “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”

In a letter to her husband on February 1861, Lucretia Garfield came to Mary Lincoln’s defense. James Garfield (who would later fall to an assassin’s bullet just like Abraham Lincoln) had made unkind remarks in a letter about the appearances and personalities of both President Lincoln and his First Lady. Garfield stated that, “Lincoln is distressingly homely,” and that “Mary Lincoln is a stocky, sallow, pug-nosed, plain lady.” Mrs. Garfield’s response to her husband’s “catty” remarks was,” if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all!”

The Proverb, “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar” was used by my mother frequently when breaking up arguments amongst my siblings and me. It is basically saying that you can win over more people by being polite and kind. Being mean and unpleasant is like being full of vinegar. You will push people away by being sour or bitter. Nice, polite requests often work better.

These have become my mottos with my children and grandchildren and I can honestly say that everyone in my family is kind. I believe it’s always best to avoid aggressive, rude, or disrespectful communication. I don’t believe that we should always say nice things to avoid conflict or disagreements, especially If someone is disrespecting or attacking you. Staying quiet might not resolve the situation. I’ve had to make the choice to not say anything at all many times, because “this too shall pass.” I have found that rude people are lashing out from a place of pain and suffering. That being said, rudeness still hurts.

I began my journey of wellness twenty years ago when Western medicine wasn’t healing my darling husband. I completed an intensive year long, herbalism course which was my first step in the alternatives available for good health. I continued with certification classes on aromatherapy and Reiki. We changed our diet to 100% plant based and expanded our garden. I took a meditation course and added QiGong to my morning Yoga routine. As a kindergarten teacher, I am happy to add Mindfulness classes to my continuing education credits. I’m currently taking a class on Somatic Yoga and breathing. I’m on a path of keeping my family healthy and vibrant, and as a teacher, I’m excited to share what I’ve learned. Every course that I have participated in fosters positivity and kindness as an integral part on the path to wellness.

Every morning I am greeted by a sweet note from my husband, who is an empath, an artist, and the kindest person I know. Don’t get me wrong, he’s never been milquetoast, he’s a very assertive and outspoken man. I have boxes of these beautiful notes with colorful cartoons of our family and dogs. It’s just a little kindness to be greeted before school with a few loving words, it sets the tone for a happy day and I am very grateful for it.

The connection between health and positivity remains murky, but researchers from John’s Hopkins suspect that people who are more positive may be better protected against the inflammatory damage of stress. This study also found that negative emotions can weaken immune response. A University of Kansas study found that smiling reduces heart rate and blood pressure during stressful situations.

When you surround yourself with positive people, you’ll hear positive outlooks, stories, and affirmations. These positive words will affect your line of thinking, giving you the tools to overcome negativity. To bring beneficial changes and improvement in your life, a positive attitude must become your predominant mental attitude.

Humor can help lighten the mood and make positive thinking more approachable. As Oscar Wilde said, “some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” We can start a positive chain reaction by adding humor and friendliness to our interactions with others. By being appreciative, surrounding ourselves with positive people, concentrating on solutions, and being present, we may teach our brains to think more positively.

“There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.” Mister Rogers

“Imagine what our real neighborhoods would be like if each of us offered as a matter of course, just one kind word to another person.” Mister Rogers

Kate Emery General is a retired chef/restaurant owner that was born and raised in Casper, Wyoming. Kate loves her grandchildren, knitting and watercolor painting. Kate and her husband , Matt are longtime residents of Cambridge’s West End where they enjoy swimming and bicycling.

As part of a new series in the Spy, agent 86 has been collecting reconnaissance footage of great Mid-Shore communities, and he has just submitted his first report. In summary, the report indicates that there are no additional spies in Oxford as of the time of filming.

This video is approximately five minutes in length.

 

Who is ready for spring? When I saw the daffodils and the hellebores peeking their shoots through the leaves, it got me thinking about some adventures from last summer. We found an amazing place to kayak, but my spouse and paddling companion forbid me from telling anyone where we were for fear of my giant readership overtaking our secret run. But the memories of this adventure are so strong, the visuals keep flooding back, especially in the doldrums of winter, that I have to tell you a bit anyway.

We found this launch after a long drive through the gorgeous outback of Talbot County, where fields and forests still exist as far as the eye can see. Particularly on the edges where it meets Caroline County, the beauty is breathtaking. For many, that Sunday drive might be the peach they need and it is easy to stop there. But for us, we must get out on the water to replenish our souls. For over three hundred years, my husband’s family has been on these waters, and while I don’t have the details on my ancestors as he does, I know that must have been a sea-loving crowd too. It’s in my bones.

So we get to the launch, which is small, unkempt, but serviceable. Typically in these types of places, parking is limited, there are no facilities, and the nearby owners do their best to pretend it isn’t there by not tending to the lands nearby. You must persevere, it is worth it. The first thing you notice is the overwhelming quiet once the car engine is off the and music stops. You take that in, but then a flood of nature sounds washes over you and you realize it isn’t quiet here at all. You can hear the wind rustle through the leaves, the call of at least a dozen types of birds, the plop-plop-plop of turtles as they jump off their logs when you paddle by, and the sounds of the water itself lapping against the banks and splashing under your paddle. (Do turtles jump off logs, or just slide? These are things you ask yourself when you have the time to do so!)

So on to the secret stuff. You paddle for our twenty minutes down this river, take a few left turns (or is it right?) until you maybe see a small opening in the marsh grass. You nose your kayak through and find a stream that starts to narrow pretty rapidly after about another twenty minutes. The banks of the river though, are wide and pretty, and dotted here and there and pools of water to the sides. After gaping at the gorgeous flowers, butterflies, and waterfowl, or if you are lucky a baby deer or two, you look down. And what a wonder. The water is perfectly clear, with a brilliance that almost hurts the eyes. You know those clear glass aquariums that you see in nature museums that showcase the bay’s creatures? Well, this is a big natural one, with no admission fee. Baby rockfish, crayfish, and various other critters swim and scuttle by. You hesitate, but then throw you paddles aside and dive in. Glorious cool, fresh water, a secret paradise we hope no one ever finds. And that’s all I can tell you.

See you on the river soon, my friends.

Deena Kilmon is an artist and writer based in Easton, Maryland. She serves as Director of Strategic Initiatives Easton Economic Development Corporation. Deena is a 2021 Leadership Maryland alumna and a graduate of The University of North Carolina – Chapel Hill.

 

Drs Oz and Roizen wrote a book years ago called; You, the Owner’s Manual, about aging and health. Three takeaways that stuck with me are; balance on each leg for one minute a day, climb stairs, and sit on the floor every chance you get. I practice all three of these everyday and I’ve added a sit/stand exercise for thirty seconds everyday.

A recent study demonstrated that an excellent predictor of your overall mortality depends on how easily you can get up from a seated position without arm support. Floor sitting lowers your likelihood of injury by falling, lowers the rate of arthritis, and disease.

Since when did sitting and getting up off the ground become a marker of health and longevity? The chair, according to University of California Berkeley Professor Galen Cranz in her 2013 book, is a fairly recent invention that has shaped our modern behavior. Two thirds of the world population still opts out of using chairs, which may be why populations like the Chinese experience 80-90% less hip arthritis than Westerners. Prolonged chair sitting can make your hips tight and stiff. When you sit on the floor, you can easily stretch your hip flexors. As you actively stretch your hips, your joint mobility will improve as you age.

Floor sitting engages muscles in the core and back that are not used while sitting in a chair. If you sit on the floor, you can’t really slouch. By sitting up straight, you naturally engage your core. Over time, this makes your abdominal and lower back muscles much stronger. Sitting on the floor can also stretch certain muscles, which can increase your range of motion and flexibility.

Sitting on the floor in a cross/legged position also helps with digestion. Some experts recommend eating meals while sitting on the floor. This position helps us focus on our food, make better food choices, and makes us feel fuller faster. Floor sitting contracts the muscles in the abdomen, the vagus nerve – the nerve that transmits signals from the stomach to the brain – informs your brain that you are full, thereby preventing overeating. This position makes us eat slower than we would while sitting at a table. In Ayurveda, it is believed that floor sitting promotes mindfulness, which helps us concentrate on every aspect of our food which makes our food more enjoyable.

Sitting on the floor with your legs crisscrossed allows for better blood circulation throughout your body. Floor sitting often invites a sense of grounding and alertness. Being close to the ground can help you feel more connected to your environment and promote a sense of calm.

When compared to sitting in a chair, sitting on the floor gets more of your body parts moving for more minutes. The act of getting up and down from the floor challenges your bones to maintain their density.

Your ultimate goal is to work up to sitting on the floor at least thirty cumulative minutes a day, everyday. If five minutes feels like all you can do, there’s your starting point. The “upshot” of floor sitting is being able to rise with ease, you’ll be less likely to have a debilitating fall. The ability to easily sit and rise reflects your well-being. If you can move in all the ways that allow you to get up and down with little or no support, then your body is stable, supple, and efficient.

Turns out those Kindergarten teachers who made us sit “crisscross applesauce” were onto something.

Kate Emery General is a retired chef/restaurant owner that was born and raised in Casper, Wyoming. Kate loves her grandchildren, knitting and watercolor painting. Kate and her husband , Matt are longtime residents of Cambridge’s West End where they enjoy swimming and bicycling.

Though Sky-watchers often have to put up with freezing temperatures, fogged up eyepieces, and cloudy skies (hiding sky events we were anxious to see), we find lots of enjoyment doing backyard astronomy.  Some amateur astronomers have even gained some fame by discovering comets, or recording fluctuations in variable stars.  But for the majority of us who watch the sky we find astronomy just down right fun!  Here are some reasons why.

Astronomy offers a challenge. I can’t forget the first time I confirmed seeing distant Uranus with my unaided eyes.  This happened after hours of scanning with binoculars and telescope.

Astronomy offers many beautiful objects to see.  Even though we have all seen the marvelous nebulae and star cluster images provided by the major space telescopes and massive land based scopes, in my mind, nothing rivals seeing the rings of Saturn for the first time in the eyepiece of a modest backyard telescope.  Or seeing the smudge of a distant spiral galaxy; and finding that elusive gaseous nebula hidden from sight by great distance —– that comes alive through my telescope! Look at the head star of the constellation Cygnus the Swan through a telescope and that single point of life resolves into a lovely double star:  one orange and the other a brilliant blue!

Astronomy offers peace and calm. Several times on summer nights each year I go out and sit in a reclining chair and scan the sky from southwest to northeast, passing through the zenith, with binoculars.  Countless more stars and clouds of cosmic dust and gas are revealed than I can see without the binoculars.  I think about the vastness of space and all that is there in God’s creation, and it makes me feel humble and calm.

And astronomy offers a chance to share the sky with others.  I enjoy doing this with the Adult Life Long Learning class I do each fall through Washington College.  And the most fun is when we actually get outside and look at the Moon, planets, and stars with binoculars and telescope.  I enjoy the “oohs” and “aahs” I hear from my students.  And I recall the happy years of observing the sky as a boy growing up with a buddy across the street who also had a telescope:  getting up before dawn to catch a rising planet; sneaking out late to see an eclipse; and bragging that my scope was better than his.  It was by the way; until he got that darn 6 inch Dynascope reflector from Criterion Manufacturing.

Astronomy is fun!!

This month’s fun centers on Jupiter.  It lies in the southwestern sky as soon as it turns dark and remains visible (brightest thing there) until it sets around midnight (Feb. 1st and 10:30 Feb. 29th).  Yes, 2024 is a leap year.  Saturn will slip into twilight by February 15th also in the southwest, so try to get your last views of it before mid-month.  Saturn will reappear in the morning eastern sky before sunup later this year.

In the eastern skies before dawn now, the orbits of Venus and Mars will appear to bring them closer to each other all month.  By the end of February the two will only be a few degrees apart; Venus the much brighter, and Mars a dull reddish color.  They will be low to the horizon however, so look for a good view right down to the horizon.

In the southern sky all month the bright winter constellations dazzle and the brightest star we can see at night at all is there:  Sirius, twinkles and shimmers just above the southern horzion, down and left of the 3 belt stars of Orion the hunter.

This month the Full Moon is on the 24th.  Go out and look up! Have some fun!  Good night!

 

I’ve been ordering seeds this month. January is my garden planning month where I check last year’s garden journal and decide what to plant this year. I was frankly shocked at how easy cucumbers were to grow in my partially shaded backyard. On a whim, I just threw a packet of seeds in with the pumpkins. I’m so happy thinking about being in my little garden.

I recently read how important it is for humans to have a connection with the soil, dirt. Its benefits go way beyond growing food to eat or getting exercise. There are bacteria in the soil (specifically: Mycobacterium vaccae) that work similarly to antidepressants. While many antidepressants are selective serotonin uptake inhibitors (they slow the rate at which your brain loses serotonin), Mycobacterium vaccae increases the rate at which you produce serotonin. Gardening helps you feel happier, more relaxed, while also feeling more energized.

In addition to increasing serotonin levels, researchers have since found lipids in Mycobacterium vaccae that bind to the receptors in immune cells and prevent inflammation from occurring. The discovery of this lipid has researchers further studying how this bacteria can help fight stress levels in soldiers and first responders, along with reducing inflammatory diseases.

Another study showed that children raised in rural environments which contain animals and bacteria-laden dust grow up to have more stress resilient immune systems and may be at lower risk of mental illness than those who grow up in cities.

You don’t have to be digging in the soil to ingest M. vaccae. Walking in the woods or simply playing outside is enough to inhale it. The next time you feel anxious, a little digging or a walk down a nature path may be enough to calm you down and improve your mood.

Every year I brew a hot cup of tea and spend an afternoon with my seed catalogs. I’ve learned that the planning matters as much as the planting. Flipping through the pages of heirloom flowers and veggies is a lovely antidote to the gray winter weather. I love that the descriptions in the catalogs speak to me as much as the professional gardeners. The engaging, encouraging format makes me feel that I’m as much a part of the gardening community as anyone else.

Printed seed catalogs date to about the middle of the eighteenth century. In 1786, Peter Bellet, florist, advertised in the Maryland Journal and Baltimore Advertiser that he had an extensive variety of the most rare bulbs and seeds. Long before and after that, most people got seeds by harvesting and saving them in envelopes, cloth sacks, bottles, and jars. You didn’t need to buy seeds for what you could grow; you needed to set aside seeds for the next year or swap with a neighbor.

In 1900, nearly two in five Americans lived on farms and three in five lived in the country. Most people knew how to grow things. In the nineteen-twenties, hybrid seeds were developed beginning with two varieties of corn. Hybrid seeds adapt better to stress, they produce plants with larger fruit, and are disease resistant. The drought resistant qualities of hybrid seeds after the dust bowl of 1936 led farmers to hasten their use. Hybrid seeds grow well but you can’t save the seeds and plant them next year, because they don’t grow well, may not even sprout.

In the twenty-twenties, when there are too few birds and butterflies, seed catalogs sell heirlooms (seeds) with a promise to save the planet: protecting biodiversity. Pollinator gardens are becoming the most popular to plant, to support wildlife. Agriculture and seeds provide the basis upon which our lives depend.

At the height of winter, ordering seeds and planning a garden offers the promise of spring. I know that there is plenty of beauty amid the bleak January days, inspiration is just a catalog away.

Kate Emery General is a retired chef/restaurant owner that was born and raised in Casper, Wyoming. Kate loves her grandchildren, knitting and watercolor painting. Kate and her husband , Matt are longtime residents of Cambridge’s West End where they enjoy swimming and bicycling.

Just being nominated for a James Beard Award is a remarkable achievement any chef, and now Harley Peet at Bas Rouge has made the list. Perhaps akin to being shortlisted for the Oscars in the film industry. It recognizes the exceptional skill, dedication, and culinary artistry that Harley brings to his work.

A James Beard Award nomination signifies that a chef has made a significant impact in the culinary field, marking them as one of the top professionals in the industry. This nomination is a testament to Harley’s commitment to excellence and innovation in the kitchen at Bas Rouge.

Just saying…

The winter magic of snowy weather never seems to wear off. There’s something about opening your curtains to see the world outside dusted in white, your street transformed into a scene from a Christmas card, that can make even the most cynical of hearts soar. Since snow is only around for a short period of time, we might feel compelled to enjoy the moment and become more mindful as a result. When we spend more time in nature, we feel greater vitality and better physical health. This helps boost our sense of mental and emotional wellbeing.

Winter, with its dark mornings and long nights, isn’t known for its mood boosting properties. The colder months are often associated with seasonal affective disorder, a mental health condition that can leave you feeling low and lethargic. Seasonal affective disorder may be linked to reduced exposure to sunlight during these shorter days. Psychologists suggest that snow is beneficial to our mental wellness.

After the excitement of the Christmas season, it’s completely normal to feel a little down this time of year, some call it the “January Blues.” Experts say that the lower levels of sunlight have a negative impact on our internal body clock. Less exposure to sunlight leads to diminishing levels of serotonin, which is an important factor in increasing or decreasing feelings of depression. Not getting enough sunlight and Vitamin D, has been shown to decrease our happiness, making us feel “down in the dumps.” A snowy environment can help you feel more alive. NYU researchers found that even twenty minutes spent outside in the snow can make us feel more energized, more positive, and improve our mental health. Snowy ground reflects 95% of all light according to a study done at Stockholm University. Brighter light is linked to a better mood.

I know that I’m happier and feel better after spending time outside, all year round. I took a teaching position last fall and have spent less time outside lately so I really look forward to the afternoons that I spend walking my dog. I was excited about having a “snow day” even though I really love teaching kindergarten. Early Friday morning, I was greeted by the most gorgeous snow scene. I felt an overwhelming quiet as I stepped outside to feed my chickens. I lingered outside most of the morning, filling bird feeders, shoveling, and sweeping the snow. I checked on my perennial garden beds blanketed with snow. I took pictures of my rosemary bushes adorned with tiny detailed Pom poms of snow. The stems of my Black Eyed Susan’s outlined in relief against the bright shining snow.

I dragged my fourteen year old French Bulldog on a walk, she was known to once run circles in our snowy yard, but in her old age she prefers her cozy bed by the fire. Coming home to a new book and a hot cup of tea were my reward for a morning spent in the snow.

A bright blanket of snow is a beautiful sight and highlights the colors and gifts of nature.

Kate Emery General is a retired chef/restaurant owner that was born and raised in Casper, Wyoming. Kate loves her grandchildren, knitting and watercolor painting. Kate and her husband , Matt are longtime residents of Cambridge’s West End where they enjoy swimming and bicycling.

Martin Luther held a prominent role in my confirmation classes in the Episcopal Church. It was a year of Saturdays learning the history of the Protestant church. Martin Luther was ordained into the priesthood in 1507, he rejected several teachings and practices of the Roman Catholic Church, sparking Protestant Reformation. Martin Luther believed that the Holy Bible is the central source of religious authority and should be made accessible to everyone.

A mere monk, Martin Luther took a stand against the Emperor Charles V, making it clear that he feared God’s judgment more than the powerful leaders of that time. It was Rome’s inflexibility that drove Luther to bolder and bolder public positions, eventually putting him beyond rapprochement and setting him on a path that will forever be debated as heretical or as glorious. Luther was the harbinger of a new world in which any ordinary individual had the freedom of thinking for himself.

After a pilgrimage to the Holy Land in 1934, Martin Luther King Jr.’s father attended an international conference of Baptist pastors. While in Germany, this pastor from Georgia whose name was Michael King, became so impressed with what he learned about the reformer, Martin Luther, he decided to change his name. He changed his five year old son’s name as well.

Gene Roddenberry, creator of Star Trek came to speak at my college when I was a freshman. He showed some of the special effects such as the two men pulling the doors open whenever anyone entered “the bridge.” Shots of the USS Enterprise were of tiny models hung with fish line. The transporter in which crew members were “beamed up” from ship to planet was a three fold process. First the person or persons were filmed standing in position. Then they stepped out of the frame while the camera caught an empty set . A glittering “beam’ effect (aluminum powder) was shot separately, dropping the powder from above with an intensive light in the background. The original film of the crew members was then combined with the shot of the glittering powder, and the effect was achieved with optical printing and film cameras.

Star Trek was created in the 1960s, becoming iconic in the mid 1970’s in re-runs. Groups would converge on the University of Wyoming Student Union television at 4:00 every weekday afternoon to watch another installment of the show. I was part of the group of Star Trek’s cult followers, called “Trekkies”. We knew every episode by heart, most of the dialogue, too.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was a huge Star Trek fan, particularly of Nichelle Nichols, better know as Lt. Nyota Uhura. While meeting at an NAACP awards ceremony in Beverly Hills, Dr. King told Ms. Nichols, “You don’t have a black role. You have an equal role and for the first time on television we will be seen every day, as intelligent, quality, beautiful people … who can go into space.”Star Trek was one of the only shows that Dr. King would allow his children to watch.

Star Trek is noted for its cultural influence beyond works of science fiction. The franchise is also notable for its progressive civil rights stances. The original series included one of the first multiracial casts in U.S. television. Lt. Uhura, which comes from the Swahili word, “uhuru’ meaning freedom is depicted as a capable bridge officer. Uhura was one of the first black characters to be portrayed in a non-menial role on an American television series.

Dr. King fought against injustice, promoted peace, and non-violence, and stood up for the things he believed in. Through it all, more than fifty years after his death, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. continues to make an impact on people of all ages, races, and backgrounds. He showed the people of America that we can fight battles without violence, but instead with compassion, love, and kindness.

Kate Emery General is a retired chef/restaurant owner that was born and raised in Casper, Wyoming. Kate loves her grandchildren, knitting and watercolor painting. Kate and her husband , Matt are longtime residents of Cambridge’s West End where they enjoy swimming and bicycling.

The 2024 Wye Parish Books Café, opening earlier in the year than ever, begins a five-weekend run on Friday January 12 and Saturday January 13, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., for its 21st year at St. Luke’s Chapel, Queenstown.  The popular sale of heavily discounted books and homemade food items will re-open on the next four Fridays and Saturdays, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., concluding on February 9 and 10.

As in the past, many thousands of carefully sorted books will be offered at 90% off cover or market price. The Café section of Books Café will again provide good food and snacks for on-premises consumption in the cheerful Lunchroom, plus take-out and baked goods for home consumption, all at bargain prices.

The largest sections at Books Café are the alphabetized displays of Fiction, current and classic, hardcover and paperback, with special sections on Mysteries and Historical Fiction.  Running a close second in popularity to the Fiction sections is History, covering all periods, with expanded offerings in Military History.

For younger readers, there is a large collection for all ages in the Young People’s Room at the rear of the Main Hall.  Next door is the recently introduced Keepers’ Corner, with its highly browsable assortment of “collectibles, old favorites, and oddballs”.

Over a dozen other collections, ranging from Animals to Art, Cooking to Religion, are spaced out around the Hall and in adjoining rooms.  This year’s featured special collection is a huge variety of books about Birds of the World.

Sale proceeds support local community outreach organized by the Parish’s Episcopal Church Women.  Books Café accepts cash, checks, and the occasional IOU; no credit card sales.  Sales to approved dealers are by advance authorization only; any use of barcode scanners inside the premises is strictly prohibited.

For further information on Books Café, call the Wye Parish Office at 410-827-8484.