When I was little, when you were little, there were some specialized forms of torment a friend or older sibling could indulge in that were extraordinarily irritating —by design.
Like this move: pinching your cheeks, wagging your face back and forth, while exclaiming, “What a pretty little pony face!”
Was that a thing? Or did that just happen to me?
It was a real ninja move– sort of an endearment but a painful one. And what is a pony face anyway? The result of wearing a ponytail? I’m looking in the mirror…could be.
Then there was the setup. On cross-country road trips, Mr. Oliver’s sister, only 13 months younger, relentlessly whispered, “You’re stupid.” in the backseat, her voice inaudible to their parents. This could be ignored the first few times, but by Oklahoma, this stealthy maneuver required a punch in the tormenter’s slender bicep which was met by a satisfied and very audible, “He hit me!” (Followed by a whispered, “Gotcha,” as her brother was admonished from the front seat of the car.)
But this form of harassment could break the most disciplined among us–having every statement out of your mouth repeated. These exchanges degenerated quickly.
Talk about irritating!
Talk about irritating.
See?
Eventually, the victim would attempt to turn the tables, announcing with a triumphant smirk, “I’m an idiot,” waiting for that sentiment to be echoed, which, of course, it wasn’t. There was only one idiot in the room at that point.
The original repeater of language was Echo, an Oread, a mountain nymph in Greek mythology. Zeus had ordered the loquacious Echo to distract his wife Hera with conversation while Zeus pursued earthly pleasures. Hera figured out the subterfuge and to punish Echo for her role in the deception, Hera deprived the nymph of speech, leaving her only the ability to repeat the last words of others.
Later, when Echo fell hopelessly in love with Narcissus, she couldn’t tell him. Unable to speak, she watched him fall in love with himself. Over time, her inability to express herself caused her to fade away, to shrivel into nothingness, until all that was left of her was a disembodied voice.
A real echo is a disembodied voice with a different origin story and message.
When we were little, there was a place above the marsh where, if you called out over the grasses and cattails, the red-winged blackbirds, and the heron’s nest, you could hear a faint echo of your voice. No scientific explanation (a high bank on the other side) could make the phenomenon less than cool. Less than super cool. And eerie.
And a hundred and twenty-five years ago, when my grandmother was a girl, she too found an echo. At the northeast corner of the pasture of her father’s farm—near the wooded hill they called the Lost Eighty, she and her siblings could yell or even talk normally, and their voices would come back loud and exact.
Intrigued, the kids set out to find the source of the echo. For years, they searched the Lost Eighty for the one particular tree or knoll that repeated their words, but they never found the source of the magic.
Why? Because it’s everywhere. In one form or another, whatever you send out returns to you. Your life itself is an echo, an energy rebound. This means that in a world where you clearly have no control, you still have a choice.
You can choose what you think and the feelings those thoughts generate. You can choose the words you write, speak aloud, and the energy you share.
The primal brain, the reptilian brain at the base of the ancient brain stem, is ego-centric. It interprets everything as inner-directed. This is why when you spontaneously stop to help the man who has dropped his keys, you feel good—as if someone has helped you. It is why you will never feel good repeating gossip or bad news. You will internalize only unkindness. You will feel only despair.
So, in a world you can’t control, choose what you say and choose what you do. In the words of Rachel Stafford:
Today, I will choose love. Tomorrow, I will choose love. And the day after that, I will choose love. If I mistakenly choose distraction, perfection, or negativity over love, I will not wallow in regret. I will choose love until it becomes who I am.
Becomes who I am.
Who I am.
You can’t save the world, but you can help the lost tourist from Delaware, the elderly man who is confused at Target’s self-checkout, the stressed-out mother with the crying toddler who clearly needs to go ahead of you in line.
You can give a 100 percent tip to your waitress. And you can say thank you even for the losses you can’t understand, because panic is a five-letter word but so is trust.
So is trust.
So is trust.
You can wallow and ruminate. You can note that it’s getting dark earlier. Or you can remember the sun will continue to rise.
When it feels as if all that was good has been buried, know hope is a seed.
Be the light.
Laura J. Oliver is an award-winning developmental book editor and writing coach, who has taught writing at the University of Maryland and St. John’s College. She is the author of The Story Within (Penguin Random House). Co-creator of The Writing Intensive at St. John’s College, she is the recipient of a Maryland State Arts Council Individual Artist Award in Fiction, an Anne Arundel County Arts Council Literary Arts Award winner, a two-time Glimmer Train Short Fiction finalist, and her work has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize. Her website can be found here.
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