“Trust the journey and enjoy the detours.” That’s not the typical advice associated with parenting, but it’s one that Lynn Sanchez preaches. Author of the light-hearted and practical guide for parents (and grandparents) Behind the Brussel Sprouts: Why YOU Have What It Takes to Be the Best Parent for Your Child, Sanchez draws on her 50 years of experience as both a parent and as an early childhood educator to help guide mothers and fathers through the challenging, messy, often scary, and rewarding experiences of child-rearing. 

Based on 30 years of notes Sanchez kept while raising her three boys, the book was written, she said, to help parents relax and enjoy the experience of parenting, something she had not always been able to do. “In the book, I described myself as more than just a helicopter parent; I was a hovercraft! Since I majored in child development and worked in that field, I considered myself a professional parent and put a tremendous amount of pressure on myself. But there were also a lot of lessons I learned along the way that I wanted to share.”

Born in Nova Scotia, Canada, Sanchez moved 11 times by the time she became a teen. As an only child, her parents were committed to not raising a spoiled child. “They were very, very, very strict,” she said. Despite all that, by the time Sanchez started college, children were her focus, and she earned a degree in Child Development and then a Master’s in Education. She worked in the psychiatric and educational field for some years before moving to the Eastern Shore, where she taught preschool and was an assistant professor at Chesapeake College. However, her association with noted author and pediatrician T. Berry Brazelton and his ‘Touchpoint’ theory of child development helped cultivate and solidify her ideas as she created this parental guide.

The 127-page book contains twelve chapters (and two fun appendices), real-life memories, and quotable quotes that cover a variety of innovative solutions to challenging parenting situations, being also mindful that a one-size-fits-all approach may not necessarily work. Sanchez, however, is quick to point out that this is not a ‘how-to’ but a ‘what-if’ book. What if, she says, you acknowledge instead of praise, guide instead of discipline, or create logical consequences.

Some solutions, Sanchez reflects, are simpler than others. For instance, the value of how changing one word in a sentence turns a bribe or a threat into an agreement., “A bribe goes like this,” she says, “‘If you eat your dinner, you get dessert,’ Instead say, ‘When dinner is finished, dessert will be served.’ That’s an agreement. That helps a child make a choice.”

As her children grew, these choices became written and signed contracts in the Sanchez family. Did it work? “My children never broke a contract,” she said. “And trust me, I had kids who could work a system like you’ve never seen. The contract helped me remember what I had asked of them, and they remembered what they agreed to. It was right there in black and white on the refrigerator door.”

Sanchez also discusses the importance of parental collaboration. Raising three boys born within a four-and-a-half-year span and supporting husband, Rob Sanchez, through the challenges of med school, the couple instituted ‘catch-up calls.’ “It was important that Rob did not walk in the door being bombarded by three humans,” she said. “So I would call him before he came home and tell him what was going on with the kids—from who was spending the night somewhere else to who didn’t do well in math. When he walked in, he already knew the lay of the land.”

The end of the evening after the kids were in bed was ‘we time’ an opportunity to nurture the grown-up relationship between the couple. “He didn’t talk about work, and I didn’t complain about the children.” (Although their children are grown and work is no longer as intrusive, the Sanchez’, after 53 years of marriage, still keep up with this tradition.)

That same one-on-one connection was also established between Rob and the children. Calling it their ‘monthly adventure,’ Rob would pick one Saturday a month to spend individually with each child. Explained Sanchez, “The boys could choose to do whatever they wanted on their ‘date’ with Dad. No matter how long he was gone, when he was with them, he was there 100%.”

These parenting insights have been transmitted into another one of Sanchez’s talents, her deep involvement in the Tred Avon Players (TAP) theater scene. Here she can be seen bringing her characters to life on stage by integrating her unique perspective on empathy, communication, and creative problem-solving. 

Sanchez continues to work on getting her message across. She is on the board at Critchlow Adkins, works with For All Seasons ‘whenever she is needed,’ and she and Rob are an integral part of Talbot Hospice Child Loss Support Group, an organization they helped start after the death of their son, Rion. Her current emphasis is creating collaborative efforts with her connections to deal with the rise in children’s mental health issues. 

That is why Easton’s For All Seasons partnered with Sanchez to launch and make available her book to the community (and beyond). President and CEO Beth Anne (Langrell) Dorman has written a forward to the book praising Sanchez for her ‘moments of wisdom, ’remembering how she, too, had relied on Sanchez’s advice in raising her children. 

The book, of course, is more than just advice; it’s a refreshing perspective for parents who are uneasy or overwhelmed in their role. It’s also an assurance and constant reminder that although they may not be aware of it, parents have what it takes to guide their children to joy and strength. 

“Trust the journey and enjoy the detours,” Sanchez will tell you. It’s the time together on the trip, not the destination, that makes lasting memories.

As to why it’s named, Behind the Brussel Sprouts, you’ll just have to read the book and find out.

For information about Behind the Brussels Sprouts, contact Lynn Sanchez at [email protected]. The book is available for purchase on Amazon.com 

 

On Thursday, June 1st, there will be an extraordinary event with former Dorchester Banner editor and Star-Democrat writer Patrick Smithwick at the Talbot County Free Library in Easton. Smithwick was known for attracting a large following a few years ago with his three remarkable books on his life in horse racing, which detailed his experiences in the highest levels of equestrian circles. However, the focus of this event will be more sobering and painful as Patrick shares the devastating story of his son, Andrew. After two-tours in Iraq, the marine veteran disappeared from sight a few years ago following his historic battle with post-traumatic stress disorder.

Spy contributor Matt LaMotte recently spoke with Patrick Smithwick about Andrew, discussing the impact on his family as they continue to search for him. Through this experience, Smithwick has gained a special perspective on how PTSD affects many of our nation’s brave returning veterans. Matt, who is also a friend and former classmate of Smithwick’s at Washington & Lee, conducted the interview.

This video is approximately 6 minutes in length.

Patrick Smithwick will discuss his book, “War’s Over, Come Home: A Father’s Search for His Son, Two Tour Marine Veteran of the Iraq War.” at 6:30 PM Thursday, June 1st at the Talbot County Main Library in Easton. Admission is free.

Old Salty’s restaurant, about to celebrate it’s 40th anniversary, has been a beloved Hoopers Island community anchor since opening in the early 1980s. But, long before being refurbished into a famed down home haven for crabcake lovers near and far, the structure originally served as a schoolhouse for the tightly knit community at Fishing Creek, on the first of the three Hoopers Islands. 

While more than ever a local favorite, 75 percent of customers coming through Old Salty’s doors are now actually newcomers, attracted to the area by growing media coverage for nearby attractions such as Blackwater National Wildlife Refuge and the Harriet Tubman Underground Railroad National Park. 

According to current owners Mike and Melinda Kerr Perry, one recent Old Salty’s first timer arrived via a word of mouth recommendation during a visit to New York City. Another hauling from the Netherlands spotted an Old Salty’s ad while in Washington, D.C., and decided to make the trip. 

It was under founding owners, JoAnn and Wayne Ashton, that the eatery first became an Island mainstay. (The sea captain on the sign is a picture of JoAnn’s dad, local waterman Ben Parks.)

It continued to thrive under second owner Jay Newcomb, former District One Dorchester County Councilman and President. 

That’s when the Perrys, then among the growing number of Island ‘weekenders’, became loyal customers. “From the day we walked in this place, we were basically in love with it,” Mike recalled. 

The couple would privately joke with Newcomb, that if he ever sold the place, it had better be to them. Two years ago, when Newcomb was ready to wind down his many varied responsibilities, he felt assured the Perrys would be the kind of devoted caretakers the restaurant deserved, and the deal was done, including the popular Old Salty’s recipes.

Though originally from rural Anne Arundel County and not Island natives, the couple are totally committed to keeping faith and doing their best by the place that’s become their adopted ‘home away from home.’ 

Melinda, 50, grew up in Hanover, what she calls “a little, tiny, tiny town just outside the airport loop,” without “MTV, or cable, or anything,” she laughs. But her parents lived in a house right next door to her grandparents on the same property. Her first job was as a restaurant dishwasher, then working her way through the kitchen. That was before becoming a jeweler for 28 years, holding down top management positions with Jared the Galleria.

Mike, 52, was raised five miles away in Severn, chopping tobacco and vegetables, on land his family has lived and worked on for 160 years. He, too, had early restaurant training, “cutting my teeth” cooking in an Elks Club kitchen during his teens. He’s gone on to own several businesses. 

As Baltimore’s urban commercial sprawl began spreading further out, things there started to change. But on Hoopers Island, they rediscovered the life they’d known and loved.

“That’s what we feel like we found here, living in a complete neighborhood of family, it’s what drew us here,” Mike added.

With extended family living on Hoopers Island in the 1970s, Mike was a frequent visitor. In 1986, he and his brothers bought their own property there. As he and Melinda became a couple, they began coming over, falling more and more in love with the area, eventually buying a house,  becoming Old Salty’s patrons, and now, owners, who want to give back to the community.

“This entire area has kept this place in business for 40 years, and that’s a heck of a feat,” Mike noted.

To that end, they decided to do something special to mark the milestone and return some of the longstanding love. 

After a year of planning, the Old Salty’s 40th Anniversary Bluegrass Festival gets underway Saturday, May 20 at 1 p.m. The free community event with no cover charge will be open to all. Artisans, vendors, and kids activities are on the menu, along with live music featuring Billy Harrison & The Haywire, Cooking with Fire, and Across the Track.

A 30 x 30 foot tent will be set up in the waterfront field behind the restaurant, and people are welcome to bring chairs and blankets. 

Food and drink options for purchase will include a limited Old Salty’s menu, including, of course, crab cake, from a mobile food trailer; Fat Truck Brewing of Centreville will also be on hand.

The festival represents an ongoing initiative of the Perrys to build on the restaurant’s solid reputation as a dining destination, while adding to it’s repertoire of events for locals and visitors alike.

Live music is now on the menu each weekend, both at the Salty Hooker Tiki Bar, added out back last March, and indoors at the Back Creek Bar. 

On May 5-6, Old Salty’s also hosted it’s first annual fishing tournament, The Salty Hooker Throwdown. 

The venue’s large indoor hall, the former school auditorium, has recently offered some decidedly nontraditional special event fundraisers, carefully billed as adults only programs, such as January’s Bingo with the Boyz and April’s Drag Bingo Brunch. Both drew big crowds and raised sizable sums in support of  Patriot Point, the Veteran Refuge on Taylor’s Island.

“Having something as important as Patriot Point in our backyard, and being able to support it, is truly amazing,” Mike added, noting that both he and Melinda have military members in their families.

Another point of pride for the Perrys is providing fresh, seasonal local seafood and produce. “A customer came in last week and asked for oysters on the half shell; I had to tell him, sorry, that’s over,” Mike mentioned with a smile. 

They’re grateful for ongoing support from the Dorchester County Chamber of Commerce, which is holding a ribbon cutting ceremony Friday, May 19 at noon to kick off the 40th Anniversary, including all three Old Salty’s owners to thank the community together. 

For more information, visit Old Salty’s Facebook Page.

Debra Messick is a retired Dorchester County Public Library associate and lifelong freelance writer. A transplanted native Philadelphian, she has enjoyed residing in Cambridge MD since 1995.

 

 

Students from the Talbot Mentors Scholars Program, accompanied by one mentee and a guest student, recently embarked on a day-long tour of Washington College. The purpose of the tour was to provide them with a glimpse of academic and campus life beyond high school.

This tour was organized as part of an ongoing partnership between Talbot Mentors and Washington College, aimed at exposing young scholars to various academic pathways. Another component of the partnership is a tutoring program wherein Washington College students provide academic support to Talbot Mentor students in the areas of language arts and math.

The tour was led by Pat Nugent, the Director of Civic Engagement at Washington College, along with Kentavius Jones, the Director of the Talbot Mentor Program, and Dr. Allyson DeMaagd, the College Success Manager. The students had the opportunity to explore different academic centers, including The Writing Center, O’Neill Literary House and Press, as well as the dormitories and other campus facilities. The day concluded with lunch at the college dining hall.

For the past 25 years, Talbot Mentors has been committed to addressing barriers to success for Talbot County students through nurturing mentoring relationships. In 2020, they introduced the Scholars Program (formerly known as Mid-Shore Scholars) as a key initiative. This program holds significant importance within the organization, with the ultimate goal of ensuring that 100% of their scholars gain admission to college, remain enrolled, and successfully graduate.

The meeting took place at the Rose O’Neill Literary House, where author and Assistant Director Roy Kesey introduced the students to “the writers’ life” and explained why the Lit House cultural hub was a valuable experience for aspiring writers and artists.

Next, the group had a meeting with Rachel Rodriguez, the Director of the Writing Center, who explained how college students could benefit from the assistance of peer writing consultants for any writing project they undertake.

The Spy interviewed Dr. Allyson DeMaagd, attended part of Rachel Rodriguez’s introduction to the Writing Center, and interviewed scholar Jose Norris.

This video is approximately five minutes in length. To find out more about Talbot Mentors, go here.