We’re All Stocked Up on Crazies by Maria Grant

One of my favorite lines from Melvin Udall, aka Jack Nicolson, in the film As Good as It Gets is,” Go sell crazy somewhere else; we’re all stocked up.”  I’ve been thinking about that line a lot lately. Here’s why.

Independent presidential candidate Robert Kennedy Jr. has touted bizarre anti-vax theories, claimed that CIA agents were responsible for the JFK assassination, and said that an abnormality in his brain scan was caused by a worm that got into his brain, ate a portion of it, and died there. Recently he confessed to dumping a baby bear’s body in Central Park.

While on the campaign trail, Donald Trump has repeatedly talked about Hannibal Lecter, his golf game, and shocking sharks. Tell me that’s not crazy.

Republican VP Nominee J.D. Vance lamented that the country was being run by “a bunch of childless cat ladies.”  He also said that people without children were “deranged” and “psychotic.” Before becoming Trump’s running mate, he called himself a “never-Trump guy” and called Trump an “idiot,” “noxious,” “reprehensible,” and “America’s Hitler.”  

Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) has ranted about Pelosi’s “Gazpacho Police,” claimed that 9/11 attacks were partly conducted by the Federal Government, suggested that Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was replaced with a body double before her death in 2020, argued that global warming is beneficial to humanity because more food is grown when it’s warmer which feeds people, called January 6 “a little riot,” and stated that California wildfires were started by Jewish laser beams. I could go on, but I’ll stop right there.

Paul Gosar (R-AZ) called January 6 rioters “peaceful patriots” and tweeted out an animated video showing himself killing Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY). Several of Gosar’s own siblings have repeatedly called on him to resign from Congress, claiming that he is “immune to shame,” and has displayed “unhinged behavior” and didn’t possess the “intellect, character or maturity to serve in Congress.”  

Senator Tommy Tuberville (R-Ala) called the three branches of government, “The House, the Senate, and the Executive.” 

Bob Menendez (D-NJ) was convicted of all charges in his corruption trial, including accepting bribes of gold and cash and acting as a foreign agent to the Egyptian government.

Matt Gaetz (R-FL) continues to be under investigation by the House Ethics Committee for sex trafficking violations, illegal drug use, inappropriate use of campaign funds, and more. Couple that with his major league dramatically overly botoxed face at the Republican convention, and it’s difficult to take the guy seriously. 

So why are there so many unserious poor representatives in Congress? Many observers blame the current situation on Newt Gingrich who was Speaker of the House for four years in the late 90’s. Gingrich made fund raising a priority and massively gutted congressional budgets and downsized committee staff. Dozens of the most knowledgeable and experienced legislative staff members left Capitol Hill as a result. Today most members of congress don’t write legislation or develop legislative ideas themselves, instead they rely on Think Tanks like The Heritage Foundation (author of the now infamous Project 2025), The American Enterprise Institute, and The Brookings Institution. 

Gingrich embraced the philosophy of aggressively confronting the opposing party instead of seeking common ground and focusing on legislation. He sought attention for his party, and the ploy worked. Gingrich, more than any other Republican, is responsible for his party regaining a majority in the House of Representatives after many years of Democratic majorities. The Gingrich philosophy is still embraced on Capitol Hill. So now instead of substantive dialogue, we see delight in humiliating speakers at Congressional hearings, and endless grandstanding of congresspeople like Jim Jordan (R-Ohio), Josh Hawley (R-KS), MTG (R-GA) Ted Cruz (R-TX), Lauren Boebert (R-CO) and a host of others. 

A Pew Research Study shows that a majority of Americans have a very negative view of politicians. I understand why. The caliber of some elected officials is past embarrassing. Many of them are self-serving and ineffective. 

So, what’s to be done? For starters. both political parties should require candidates running under their banner to pass a basic civics test—along the lines of a citizenship exam—as a prerequisite for holding public office. Clearly other reforms are needed, including reviving ethics in campaign spending, banning lobbyists from fundraising for politicians, strengthening criminal anti-corruption laws, banning individual stock ownership by members of Congress, and posting legislation at least three days before a vote so that all members have the ability to read proposed legislation. Let’s be clear. We need to get serious. The swamp has not been drained and both parties need to work together to fix it.

In Joseph Heller’s novel Catch 22, the character Yossarian said, “Insanity is contagious.” It certainly seems that way, since this is the craziest group of elected officials I remember in my lifetime. Let’s hope a cure is on the horizon. It can’t come a moment too soon. 

Maria Grant was principal-in-charge of the federal human capital practice of an international consulting firm. While on the Eastern Shore, she focuses on writing, reading, piano, and nature.